Outrage Is the Default. Curiosity in Communication Is the Way Forward.

We’ve tried correction without connection, and it’s failing us. Here’s how to rebuild communication that creates more wellbeing for more people.

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Language shapes how we think and collaborate collectively.

It’s the invisible architecture of our culture — how we name things, frame things, and understand our place in them.

Words govern how we live, what we tolerate, and what we build. They compose our systems, our politics, our relationships. They can build worlds or burn them down.

It’s easy to underestimate how much power a single phrase can hold.

A poorly chosen one can rumble a fragile connection.

A carefully chosen one can build a bridge where none existed before.

The Emotional Temperature Between Us

How we speak to and about each other matters.

The words we use live between us, shaping the emotional temperature of every conversation, team, and community.

We communicate not just with language, but with tone, behavior, and space — the pauses, the eye contact, the willingness to listen.

Language is more than speech; it’s atmosphere.

Right now, that atmosphere feels volatile.

We’re living in a time of rage-baiting and intentional disrespect. Certainty is rewarded more than understanding. Outrage performs better than curiosity.

The Generational Lens

Generations have always spoken past each other. Each carries its own language, shaped by the crises, technologies, and turning points of its time. The rise of radio and television changed one generation’s sense of truth; the rise of social media changed another’s sense of connection.

We didn’t all grow up with the same tools, tone, or tolerance for disagreement. And in a world where communication is constant, those differences now collide in real time.

We’ve tried our current engagement strategy — outrage, call-outs, cleverness — and it’s failing us.

Outrage performs better than curiosity, but it doesn’t change hearts or systems. It only deepens the divide.

Everyone got turned off by political correctness because it often felt like a performance — correction without connection. But the intent behind it was never the problem. The problem was execution without empathy.

The goal was respect; what we built instead was fear of saying the wrong thing.

In trying to protect each other, we accidentally weaponized respectfulness — turning it into a measure of worth instead of a practice of care.

When respect becomes a performance, it stops being relational. It becomes about being right, not being kind.

A Quote and a Pause

“I haven’t got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.”— David Sedaris

That line makes me laugh — and wince — because it captures something true about this moment. We’re all trying to be understood while silently keeping our own lists. We want to change minds, but few of us want to be changed.

Gleefully making my list of how to change people.

Meeting People Where They Are

I’ve been rereading Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change. It’s been almost ten years since the first read, and its wisdom still hits hard.

What I love most is its premise: the best solutions meet people where they are and help them act in unprecedentedly effective ways.

Help them.

Find the point of most change with the least friction.

Not force or belittle or persuade.

That’s what I want my communication to do — help us move toward more wellbeing for more people.

Curiosity in Communication: The Leadership Skill We’re Missing

We are overdue for a mindset shift in how we approach one another. Leadership isn’t just about direction; it’s about connection.

Can we speak with love?

Consider differing ideas with empathy?

Stay curious long enough to find common ground?

The means shape the ends.

Curiosity in communication might be the most underused leadership skill we have. It validates people. It invites them in. It cools the room and clears the fog so real understanding can happen.

A Way Forward

Before we speak, post, or reply, we can pause long enough to ask three simple questions.

1. Am I in the best place to communicate right now? Check your state before you craft your statement. Are you calm enough to listen, open enough to understand, and steady enough to respond with integrity? If not, wait. Regulation before communication changes everything.
   

2. What do I intend with this message? Every word we share carries intent — to bring clarity, to express care, or (sometimes unintentionally) to create chaos. Be honest about which one you’re choosing.
   

3. How can I build connection with my response? Communication is collaboration. Instead of closing a door, can you open one? Try a “Yes, and…” approach: affirm what you understand, then expand the conversation. It invites curiosity, not combat.
   

That’s the Waymaker way forward — small, deliberate choices that create more space, more grace, and more wellbeing for more people.

Because language is power. And every word we choose is a chance to use it well.

Choose wisely, my friends.

❤️